


A While

by gravitality



Category: Elsword (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Loneliness, M/M, Minor Character Death, everyone's dead guys, ishmael's here & she's disappointed in ain, this is sad and self-indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 05:00:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15598830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gravitality/pseuds/gravitality
Summary: Ain's been alone for a while.





	A While

It had been a while.

His party had been gone for centuries now. Their kids had known him, called him uncle, their grandkids knew him as grandpa, and their great-grandkids and everyone after that hadn’t known him at all. It had been generations since he had last sat with his friends, since he had last seen his friends, since he had last talked to his friends. He hated to admit it, but he missed them. He missed them all with his life - he wished there was anything at all that he could do to even hear them again.

But Ain wasn’t an angel anymore, and he wasn’t a human, and Ishmael certainly wasn’t going to let an abomination like him step back into heaven to see them all.

Instead, he had to serve out his sentence here on Earth as the link between the humans and his lady. He’s been here, alone, for centuries already, preaching and traveling and helping those in need. This is what he was told to do. Whether he finds joy or fulfillment in it is not something that concerns neither him, nor his lady.

He finds his way back to Hamel more often than he'd like. It always feels like his last visit was ages ago, even though he visits annually. To him, when he was last here, Chung had been the Guardian of Hamel. Raven had stayed with him, and the two of them had lead Hamel after Rod Ross’ incidents. They had lived a good life, and Ain had enjoyed that visit. When he came, they were old and happy, even though they were nearing their death beds. He remembers them never letting go of each other's hands. 

He hates it, but Ain envies them.

The last time Ain had seen Elsword was only a few weeks after his visit with Chung and Raven. He was staying with Ciel back in Ruben, finally resting after years of adventuring and serving the Red Knights. The two of them had a difficult relationship, Ain had noticed, especially as Elsword had aged. Ciel was growing more and more concerned with each passing day, even as Elsword had dismissed his worries with a laugh and a wave of his hand. When the kind and loud boy finally passed, Ciel disappeared to somewhere Ain couldn’t follow, taking away his one possible chance at a lifelong, permanent friend. Although Ain had later seen Ciel on Earth, though, visiting Elsword’s grave. Ain decided that if Ciel didn't want to talk to him, then he wouldn't make the demon.

Ain thinks it's better to keep his loneliness to himself, anyway.

The last time he’d seen Rena wasn't as long ago. As an elf, Rena had a longer lifespan than the rest of their human companions, and she and him were better friends than he and Ciel were. He was worried that once Rose had returned to her original realm, Rena would disappear just as Ciel had done, and while she had grown scarce, they met up whenever they could. This was only once every few months. Even then, Ain could slowly see the age in her face, in her movements, in her eyes. It was catching up to her, and he didn’t want to know what he’d do when his last true friend was taken from him.

The thought of being truly alone was terrifying to him.

The last time Ain had see his lover was on his deathbed. It was the most terrifying moment of his life. This wasn’t a time in battle where Ain could heal him, or use a resurrection stone, or simply bandage his wounds. His love was on their bed, surrounded by his last living friends and the best nurses Hamel could provide, and he was dying, and Ain could do nothing but hold his love's hand and hold back his own tears. He was shaking, and the tears started to fall when he realized that his love’s last words would only ever be for him: “Thank you for loving me.”

Add’s death had shaken him, much more than anyone else’s did. After Add had passed, Ain grew even more distant from Rena and Ciel, finally agreeing to exist solely for the purpose that Ishmael had given him. Sure, he saw Rena and visited her, but it was never how it was, and it never could be. Even though the El had been returned long ago, being part human, he couldn’t be repurposed, and was stuck on Earth with the idea of spreading the word of Ishmael. He devoted himself to that, pushing his friends away, only going back to visit Add’s grave in Hamel on anniversaries.

And, after another century of silence from Ciel and scarce dates with Rena, he was entirely alone. Ciel stopped visiting the graves. Rena had passed. He was alone. He was entirely, utterly alone. All that he was now was Ishmael’s servant, an empty case filled only with the scripture of his lady.

Again, he found himself in Hamel. Hamel and Ruben seemed to be the only consistent stops on his regular treks to spread Ishamel’s teachings. As a tradition, Hamel’s leader welcomed him into his home, to honor the agreement made with the White Wolf of Hamel centuries ago. Ain accepted politely, but distantly. He never made it a habit to get to know the new Guardians, nor the new leaders, of any of the places he visited. There was no point anymore. Half the time, he slept on the steps of the temples in the towns. He only slept because there was no way he could live with himself twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, like he could when everyone was still around. When Add was still around. Now, he slept through most of the day, preaching only in the afternoons.

This journey in Hamel proved… different, than the others. As a servant of Ishmael, he knew how souls were given to humans, and that a lot of the time, Ishmael reused souls. Reincarnation, as humans called it. Obviously, these souls were erased of their past selves’ memories before placed in a new body, but those bodies could retain similar physical characteristics to past bodies. This was how Ain knew about Chung and Seris. After Chung had grown out his hair, and Ain had been shown a picture of Seris by Raven, Ain could indeed confirm that the two shared a soul. Sometimes, Ishmael would grant a cursed man like him the chance to see a person’s soul during an important moment in their life. It was through this, with Helputt’s last letter and Raven’s photograph, that Ain knew for certain that Raven was a lucky man, to find his soulmate twice in the same life.

But Ain had seen a face similar to Add’s in the crowd this time. White hair cut short, a scar on the left side of his face, bright eyes, an analyzing stare - it caught him by surprise in the middle of his sermon, and he paused. He caught himself quickly and stuttered an apology, his heart telling him to rush his spiel to confront the man, and his mind telling him that Ishmael wouldn’t pity him like that.

Soon enough, his sermon was over, and the crowd was slowly dispersing, chattering among themselves. The white haired man had yet to leave, staring directly at and through Ain, as if analyzing every aspect of his being, as he stood on the steps of the temple. They made eye contact, and Ain’s breath caught in his throat. He looked to the skies, whispering to his lady in the tongue of heaven, “You’re too cruel to me, my lady.” She had reincarnated his love and sent him here, just so that Ain would have to work for years to get back to where they were, only for him to lose his lover again.

For once, she deigned to respond to him. _He is all there, and will stay there._

Ain blinked at the empty sky. The people in the square in front of him heard the harsh language spoken in his soft voice and turned towards the sky as well. None of them could understand it but him, and he could feel tears welling up in his green eyes. He looked towards the white-haired man, his love, desperately searching for something, a spec of recognition, of understanding, of remembrance, in the new blue eyes.

And he found was he was looking for. Recognition, and a burst of a bright purple soul stemming from the man’s heart as it reached out to him, calling for him, and Ain met him. Purple and blue collided, and his love was knocked to the ground with the force of his embrace.

For the first time in nearly 500 years, Ain felt fulfilled.

**Author's Note:**

> oof i know none of this makes sense in canon this is mostly just based off of ideas i've had playing with my friends & i haven't even finished the game yet 
> 
> if you're Really mad about it comment here or im on tumblr @gravitality


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